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Friday, July 14, 2006

Dateline: Normal, Mn.: "The Planner "----fiction

Recently I have been avoiding the hot, muggy July weather by cruising up Hwy 10 north of St. Paul, past the eternal billboards and gas stations along the way . Then, just beyond Lake Woebegon territory and just short of Garrsion is my favorite town---- Normal, Mn..

In association with their July 4th festival, and celebrated ceremony at the roundabout at the center of town, it was announced the creation of the "Goals 3000" effort that would transform Normal to superstar status.

It seems that after reviewing the entrants for the "Normal 5K Fun Run," on July 4th, the official racekeeper, Henry, had noticed that the numbers of entrants had skyrocked to 6, from the prior year entrants of 2. During the race therefore, he did some quick calculations and realized that at the current rate of growth, or 300%, it was time for Normal, Mn. to hire a full time planner. At the current rate of growth, it would require almost 200 porta potties for the 5k race in the year 3000. The current zoning of the downtown block just did not have the proper opacity from residential to mixed commercial----that's how he was tempted to classify the porta potties.

Then as he visioned the new "Normal" he went over the "specifications" that the new planner must have.

First he must like fish. That was number one. And finally, he must like euchre. This was going to be easy----after all.... they needed a fourth person anyway.

The more he thought, the more it became perfectly clear. He, himself----Henry-----was the best man for the job.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:18 PM

    Hey, that reminds me of - was it Cheney - who was supposed to find the perfect VP candidate for George Bush's campaign, and couldn't find any one but himself who could fill those shoes? Or am I thinking of someone else?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:01 PM

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete