Evansville Water: The Movie: Part 1

Audio/Video Evansville Schools Meetings

Seek the High Ground

The Book of Minutes

Search This Blog

Wisconsin Wit

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Superintendent of Corrections and Schools; or, Herman's Sonar Rig--the tale.

Well, fishing season is here and there is excitement on the crowded highways on the road up to the frozen tundra of Northern Minnesota. I was expecially interested in making this trip last week because my old friend Herman, the country boy lawyer in "Sofia, a small town near the famous Lake Woebegon, south of Brainerd, Mn, had been named in a special board meeting, to be the Superintendent of Corrections and Schools. I was eager to get all the details.

I arranged to meet Herman at the fishing spot, about two miles from the bait shop with the colored stones on the wall. I was pleased to see that he had brought some travel coffee mugs, Minnesota Viking style, with fresh black, no sugar, lots of whipped cream ready for the launch of a fish outing.

It was just a simple alumacraft boat but Herman had a fast Merc motor and in no time we were in our favorite spot.

As we settled in, I noticed that Herman had a new sonar rig. He moved it from a spiffy carrying case to the boat, and attached it to a mount. Immediately it began blinking yellow and orange.

Excited, I yelled, "Wow, this is the spot. The fish are really loaded here."

"Wrong, Wolfman!" Those aren't fish. Those are prisoners and students."

"Huh?", I exclaimed.

He went on, "It's real simple up here in God's country. Up here everyone has one of them gosh darn bracelets. The students and the prisoners. When they are in their proper "zones", everything is quiet. But when they stray, the prisoners flash orange on the screen and the students flash yellow. When I touch the flashing dot, it displays their ID number.

Just then, a yellow dot started flashing. "That's just Fred." He then touched the screen to display the ID number. "Sometimes Fred leaves school to sneak to the Subway to get one of them deli sandwiches. Now he's gunna pay with a $25 fine." Herman quickly got on the radio to the local squad to catch Fred.

"This system sure seems efficient," I pondered aloud. "Yes," Herman said. "And the best part is that if a youngster "goes bad" and needs to be locked up, we just make a code change from "student" to "felon." It's real simple."

Thank goodness I am back in good old Wisconsin --God's Country---where we don't have all that fancy sonar and such. And where corrections and schools are separate.

I was a little nervous this morn, though, eating my deli sandwich at the Subway. But then I checked my wrist. And relaxed. Bloggers don't have to wear bracelets. Alleluia.


this is an audio post - click to play