(Ed. note. This is one of a long series of tales about "Sofia", a town in Northern Minnesota south of Brainerd, close to the Land of Lake Woebegon.)
One of the glories of a long vacation is the sense of calm that results when one--for a week or so---is only worried about what a fish might be hungry for. It sure is a long way to travel to "Sofia," up in Northern Minnesota, near the land of Lake Woebegon, just south of Brainerd. Why all the effort to get there? Well. Last week was "Heritage Days."
"Sofia" was formally chartered as a village back in 1912. The purpose of Heritage Days is to spend a week and just remember and cherish all the wonderful traditions and values that have been passed down over the years.
Back in 1912, there was only one species of fish in Lake Sofia. The Carp. In 2006 there are all the usual fishing breeds, but back then, it was just simple living. During "Heritage Days" all the restaurants--- just one really---only serves carp. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. They have many types of beverage, but only one main course. That's just the way it should be.
Another special part of "Heritage Days" is the tradition of closing all public rest rooms. Only outdoor "two-holers" are used or allowed. Anyone who would weaken and use a toilet is subject to a severe fine. No toilet paper is allowed. Only pages from a vintage Montgomery Ward catelogue is permissible. It is a real test of character. A real chance to go over the survival of the fittest. A chance to make Darwin proud.
It sure is a relief to get back to good ol Wisconsin. Where the rest stops have toilet paper. Where cheeseburgers are allowed for lunch. And where we have real sane ideas about our heritage.