"Why Secret Service Abstinence Matters": Tales From Normal, Mn.: FICTION

In a routine public works committee meeting today in Normal, Mn., the nuts and bolts leader of that committee explained to the three folks attending, that it was very important to have the secret service abstinent since in the past the highest leaders of our distinguished nation, and indeed the IMF, have participated in such unseemly conduct that it was important for someone to be sober and chaste....to preserve our black bag for nuclear response, and to ensure that someone was incharge...just in case....leadership was needed. He then mentioned that this nation is confronted by the wild and crazy behavior of North Korea that is planning to conduct a nuclear test just to make up for a failed rocket launch, and that when faced with trying to unravel the logic of such rogue states, it takes clear minds, and sober minds to unravel the rogue logic, and thus sobriety and chaste thought is essential, and indeed may not be available at the highest levels of government...the secret service needs to be alert. Stay tuned as I follow this developing story.