OpEd: The Graduation Syndrome----the theory

As a parent of a EHS graduate this June, I have to smile thinking back on the graduation of my younger two daughters and the preparations that we as parents made for the magic day. A decade ago, in a frenzy, we got the carriage house ready for the party, and also got some additonal rugs and repairs done on the house---not for us mind you. It was for the graduate.

In visiting with other parents I found this compulsion to prepare and remodel very widespread. We were not alone. In fact other parents got home improvement loans to remodel or reside their homes. Some bought new cars. All in dutiful preparation.

I say this because this graduation year also comes at a time of the tax refunds or rebates to stimulate the economy---and I would suggest that many parents have earmarked that money for a little preparation for the magic day.

In reading some books on the subject of transitions, there is a theory that when the child leaves home, the parent reviews his/her own leavings----and there are some powerful emotions that arise. So. If you feel the compulsion to go out and buy a red convertible this June, it can be assumed that it will not be for the graduate---the old car will be for the graduate.

Just as we are graduating a senior, our middle daughter, who prefers to be called "Dr. J"----announced last week that she was accepted at the University of Wisconsin in the Phychology Dept for Graduate School. She has been working in California and will be returning to relearn about Wisconsin winters.

Thus---the Observer is in a jetwash----I must review my leaving at 18 and then also the leaving for grad school, and the double whammy might call for some extensive remodeling. I plan on using loud rock and roll music and hammering and pounding to get through the transitions. And I want to assure other parents that you can get through this transition without a second mortgage----forget the idea. You might not even qualify for one anyway. Times have changed.

If you ever feel some turbulent emotions about the graduation period, simply focus on the carriage house on the blog, and then....turn up the rock and roll very loud and...breathe deeply....you can get through it.