Dateline Normal: " Police Squads with Kiddie Car Seats"-----Fiction

(Ed. note. This is one of a series of FICTIONAL sketches from Normal, Mn., a town near the famous Lake Woebegon up near Garrison, Mn.. These sketches are available on CD and are mailed to purchasers wrapped in a brown paper wrapper, clearly marked FICTION. Enjoy.)

Last week I turned the heavy Lincoln up north on Hwy 10 for a little getaway from the hussle and bussle of breaking news here in Evansville. I needed to get the little cabin in the woods ready for the winter months of the frozen tundra.

Just before I entered the city limits of Normal, something unusual happened. An older black Chevy Caprice roared by me in the passing lane, and then sped on. As I slowed down to enter the city limits, I noticed the police cruiser with the flashing lights and the black Chevy with the driver spread eagle over the trunk. I did not think there was much law up there in the north country, so I was very shocked.

I was also shocked at what I saw in that police cruiser. The police officer was a real large bruiser type, which was normal for Normal, but----- in the back seat of the police cruiser was a CHILD SEAT. That totally took me by surprise.

When I slipped into my usual seat in the coffee shop, just kiddie corner from the bait shop, I asked Herman:

"What's with the baby seat in the squad cars?"

"That's just Normal," he replied. Up here several years ago they intalled a full day 5k kindergarten program, and eliminated the half day option. They also of course have 4k, 3k and are considering implementing a 2K program. Up here, it's all full day. If a parent pulls the kid from school, the kid is considered "truant."

"TRUANT?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yup," Herman replied, "TRUANT."

"Up here we take education REAL SERIOUS LIKE. We have a real strong TRUANT policy in our schools, and folks are fired if they exceed the standard truancy rate. The police are real vigalent to enforce full attendance. So---if a kid goes astray, the squads need to have the child seat.

Thanks goodness I am back in good old Wisconisn. Where we don't have baby seats in squad cars. Where we know the difference between truancy and normal livin. Alleluia.