Dateline Normal, Mn.---Turmoil as Election Voting Center Moves to Bait Shop---Fiction

(Ed.note. This sketch is one of a long series of fictional sketches from Normal, Mn., a fictional town near the famous Lake Woebegon. These stories from Normal are available on CD. The cd comes mailed in a brown paper wrapper, clearly marked--FICTION.)


Well it seems that panic has turned all of Normal, Mn. into chaos. I received a frantic call from Rex, the mayor of nearby Sophia, where all the folks of Normal County vote. He was just beside himself. Looking to me for guidance. You can just imagine his desparate straits. Anyway.

It seems that two sweet ladies approached Rex, the Mayor of Sophia, as well as the Suprerintendent of the Normal School District, and requested to take a survey of football fans at the sectional final between Normal, and Sophia coming up this week. The survey was about preferences of fans on food and quilting.

Rex---being the total football fan that he was, put his foot down. "Absolutely NOT," he said. "There cannot be any political activity on school property---and expecially during football games," he said.

Over the next 24 hours, the town was abuzz. They were respectful. After all, they just loved Rex. He was their man. He was well meaning. But....but....somebody needed to mention to him that they had an election coming in a couple of weeks, and the election was held on school property....and according to his own rule....something would have to change to keep Rex a man of his word.

What a tizzy of consultation....a virtual buzz of talk over coffee. Finally the solution. Rex thought of the solution himself. After all. He had got them into this mess. He knew just what to do. They would move the voting booths to his bait shop.

Well...it did take some gettin used to. The little booths with the cloth sides right up next to the minnow tubs. And the voting tabulatin machine, lodged right next to the lures and new fangled poles.

The folks, Lord bless em, adjusted. They were of the right stock and were tough. They wanted to made an honest man of Rex. Whatever it took.

And then there was the rest to get used to.....the strong fishy smell. But...after a while---- they got used to that too.

Thank goodness I am back in good old Wisconsin. Where there is no political activity on school grounds. Unless there are large tents with pork cutlet sandwiches involved. Unless approved political parties are involved. Where ladies with clip boards are not a threat to anyone. Where we don't have to hold elections in bait shops just to keep the story straight.

Alleluia.