Thursday, April 13, 2006

( Fiction:) "The Texas Two-Step"

Recently I have been up in northern Minnesota to chat with my old friend, Herman, the country boy lawyer, and celebrate the arrival of spring. After the long, long drive up Hwy 10, I arrived very late at the Spruce Goose Motel, and crashed. On awaking in the morn, I headed to the lone restaurant just opposite the world renowned Bait Shop. After I had gulped down a large, black, no whipped cream, lots of sugar, coffee in the standard Minnesota Viking blue mug, I called Herman on my cell phone to see what was happening.

"He's out fishing," his secretary told me. "You can come over to the office and wait for him though. He should be back shortly."

I was a little mystified. It was too early in the season for serious fishing. But I went over to the office and waited.

While I was waiting, I noticed all the volumes of legal books on the shelves and the tons and tons of corporate records lining the walls of his office.

Finally, Herman strode through the door. When I asked him how he could be fishing when the fishing pole was still leaning in the corner of his office, he just laughed: " I just got elected to the city council, and we call all our planning sessions "fishing." Saves a lot of time with all that open meetin stuff.

I was totally shocked.

Then he said, "Wolfman, (that's what he always called me) haven't you ever heard of the "Texas Two-Step?"

"The Dance?" I replied. It sounded a lot like maybe the "hip-hop" or "lindie" that my daughters talked so much of.

"Shucks no" he laughed. "See all them legal books and such on the walls here. Those are all the billy bob legal requirements we must comply with. We have all those books just for show. You know. Just to make it look good. Then we just do as we always have done."

I was totally speechless. "Really?" I said.

He went on, "I was off to a planning meeting this morn. We call it "fishing" cause the official business has not begun. Then he let out with a chilling roar of laughter that rocked his whole frame.

I had never heard of the "Texas Two Step."

Thank Goodness I am back in good old Wisconsin where what you see is what you get----- and the dances are straightforward.