Thursday, September 01, 2005

Dreams of World Peace and Sandwich Board Signs

This has been a long week of many civic minded meetings, and last night, totally wasted, I had a vivid dream. I normally don't share this kind of thing, but it was so vivid, I will make an exception in this case.

I was a young cavalry officer in Napolean's army. It was the morning of his first major battle to, well, secure world peace, the fatherland, and root out the terrorism in the outlying territories. Anyway, I was excited. On my horse with my best uniform. Ready to go. Then the trumpets sounded. It was the stand down signal. I was perplexed. What could have happened?

It seems that at the moment of attack the powerful commanding officer had determined that before proceeding, he would request permission from the "weinershudson" or the local city council for permission to place the "burgersheinsen" or sandwich signs that the army used to direct the infantry to their proper battle positions, along the road. Few modern historians realize how important these "burgersheinsen" were to the success of the army. Very simply put, they were essential to the whole art of "manuever" which so clearly goes back to the very "Art of War" or any classic battle texts of war or business war. Anyway.

There was, unfortunately, a two pronged approval process. First, an application had to be made to the "weinershodson" or the city council. This is not to be confused with the "weinershitsen" which is the german for "outhouse." Sometimes in a dream these can get confused. In my dream, it was clearly "weinershodson," for the record. Anyway, after this application, it was sent forth to a second governemental body, the "weinershaftson." This is a very famous group of folks of the fatherland that is a very difficult translation, but roughly it means " The historic preservation committee." Sometimes there is confusion since the "shaftson" literally means " end of the world." This was so true, for in those times of spendor, and times of German pride, it was indeed the end of time when the appoval was actually granted.

Well, you might ask, what happened in the dream? Very simply---- nothing. No troops moved. No war was waged. No business was done. The world was saved from war by the simple two staged process for sign approval of those very wise fatherland leaders.